I still remember the first networking event I attended after moving to Saratoga. It was late summer, 2021. I had my stack of business cards and a rehearsed elevator pitch. I shook hands, exchanged cards, and moved on—boom, another name in my contact list. By the end of the night, I’d “met” 20 people. But how many did I actually remember? Or, better yet, how many of them actually remembered me? And on top of all of that, would they want to do business with me??

In hindsight, this was the baseline for an excellent life lesson. But let’s back up a step. And enough about me— let’s make it about you. 

Now imagine a different approach. Instead of treating networking like a numbers game, you focus on building real connections. You spend time getting to know a few people, understanding what they do, and—just as importantly—figuring out how you might help them. Over time, those relationships grow into something meaningful.

This is the difference between hunting and farming.* Hunters go from person to person, looking for quick wins. Farmers plant seeds, nurture relationships, and let business grow naturally. And when it comes to networking, farming always wins.

* Credit where credit is due, I am borrowing the “farming/hunting” terminology from BNI, a networking organization of which I was a member for 2 years. It’s not necessarily an endorsement, but certainly a grateful acknowledgement. Hearing it phrased like this, it significantly and permanently altered the way I approached networking. It really stuck with me. This article is my personal interpretation of that approach. 

People don’t do business with someone just because they met them. They do business with people they trust. And trust isn’t built in a single conversation—it happens in three basic levels:

Level 1: Know – First, people simply have to know you exist. They need to understand what you do and why it matters. A handshake and a quick chat can get you here.

Level 2: Like – Next, they need to like you. This doesn’t mean you have to be their new best friend, but there should be a sense of connection. Are you someone they enjoy talking to? Do you share a common interest? Do you seem authentic and genuinely interested in them?

Level 3: Trust – This is where the magic happens (and, frankly, some really fruitful business relationships). Trust is built over time, through follow-ups, meaningful interactions, and proving that you’re not just here for the sale. When someone trusts you, they’ll refer you, recommend you, and work with you—because they believe you’re the right person for the job.

The mistake many networkers make? They try to skip straight to trust without putting in the time to build a real relationship. But trust isn’t given—it’s earned.

It really pays to think about your network as a field, needing care and attention to bear fruit. You need to be proactive as well as reactive— yes, it pays to be prepared, but can you read the room? Are you really seeing the person on the other side of the interaction? Because each of their needs is truly individual. 

🌱 Ask Questions, Don’t Just Talk About Yourself.
The best networkers aren’t the ones with the flashiest pitch—they’re the ones who listen. Ask about their business, their challenges, and what they’re looking for. Be genuinely curious. 

🌱 Look for Ways to Help, Not Just Ways to Sell.
Did they mention needing a great web designer? Introduce them to one. Know of an upcoming event they might find valuable? Send them the details. The more you give, the more you’ll get in return. Psychologists call this the Reciprocity Principle, and when you harness those powers for good? My gosh, the things that can be accomplished!

🌱 Follow Up, But Don’t Be Pushy.
The relationship doesn’t end when the event does. Send a quick email, connect on LinkedIn, or invite them to coffee. Keep it natural—no need for a hard sell. Just keep the conversation going. Learn more about their business, and what it might mean to be a valuable resource in their network. 

🌱 Be Consistent.
Trust isn’t built overnight. The strongest networks are formed by showing up regularly, staying engaged, and proving that you’re here for the long haul—not just a quick deal.

Networking isn’t about how many people you meet—it’s about how many relationships you build. If you treat every conversation as a one-time transaction, you’ll always be starting from zero. But if you take the time to foster real connections, you’ll create a network that supports, refers, and works with you for years to come.

So next time you walk into a networking event, ask yourself: am I here just to sell or am I here to cultivate? The answer might just change your business.

Here at Networking @ Night, our goal is to give you the environment to spark those initial connections. Sure, you could wait for our next event (they are amazing, after all), but why not reach out individually? All it takes is a little effort to make a new connection happen!